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Jokes and fun posts about heat pumps and renewables

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Transparent
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I see there's almost £50,000 off the price of a modular USB charger today!

image

Save energy... recycle electrons!


   
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Mars
 Mars
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Bank holiday joke. A heat pump engineer walks into a bar...

https://youtube.com/shorts/cRAVvwxOvf8

Buy Bodge Buster – Homeowner Air Source Heat Pump Installation Guide: https://amzn.to/3NVndlU
From Zero to Heat Pump Hero: https://amzn.to/4bWkPFb

Follow our sustainability journey at My Home Farm: https://myhomefarm.co.uk


   
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Toodles
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@editor Another heating engineer walks into another pub …  ‘Pint of your best beer landlord and make it very cold’ Landlord: ‘Sorry Mate, I’m fresh out of glycol.’

Toodles, 76 years young and hoping to see 100 and make some ROI on my renewable energy investment!


   
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Transparent
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After days of arguing with a heat-pump installer, the customer is sick and tired of a system which still doesn't seem to be working.

That evening he's dreading the next day when everything was meant to have been completed. He picks up a discarded pressure valve from the floor beside the third buffer tank and casually rubs his fingers across the brass stem while he considers whether to throw it at the heat pump or the installer.

To his surprise, a blue genie appears from the end of the pipe and grants him three wishes.

Delighted, the man has no trouble in saying what he wants.
"I'd like to have this heat-pump installation completed and properly commissioned to operate using as little energy as possible. I want a full set of drawings with user instructions specific to this house, and finally, I'd like certificates of compliance with Part-L and Part-P of the Building Regulations," he announces.

"Phew!" exclaims the genie. "That's more like a miracle than a set of three wishes. But let's see what I can do. Your wishes are my command."

In a flash the pipe insulation is properly fitted and sealed, TRVs removed from radiators and lockshield valves balanced. The controller gets configured with the required weather compensation settings, temperature sensors repositioned where they should have been, and the pumps quietly hum as they achieve the optimal flow temperature.

The genie hands him the system schematic, user instructions and two Building Regs certificates.

"That was amazing," says the customer. "I had begun to think that this wouldn't ever be possible."

"Me too!" replies the genie, who smiles and quickly disappears.

 

The next morning, the installer arrives to find everything completed and working.
"How did you manage all this overnight?" he asks.

The customer tells him about the genie and the three wishes, whilst the installer gasps with amazement.

He reaches into his bag, pulls out a notepad, scribbles out a few items on the list and hands over the top page to the customer.
"Here's the bill," he announces. "Prompt payment would be appreciated."

The customer looks through it and remarks that it's a lot higher than the original quotation.

"Ah yes," explains the installer. "I've had to strike out the government's £7500 subsidy, and then add in a chargeable warranty and maintenance contract. Genies aren't allowed to be MCS registered."

"Whyever not?" enquired the customer.

"Coz they don't do any proper customer service. They're just here today and gone tomorrow!"

This post was modified 4 weeks ago by Transparent

Save energy... recycle electrons!


   
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Mars
 Mars
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Turn up your volume and listen to Heat Pump Euphoria

Buy Bodge Buster – Homeowner Air Source Heat Pump Installation Guide: https://amzn.to/3NVndlU
From Zero to Heat Pump Hero: https://amzn.to/4bWkPFb

Follow our sustainability journey at My Home Farm: https://myhomefarm.co.uk


   
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Transparent
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Do we assume @editor that Heat Pump Euphoria is to be your submission to DESNZ on Delivering a Smart & Secure Electricity System?

It seems to be missing a verse on Regulatory Controls to implement Cyber Security.

 

Save energy... recycle electrons!


   
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Toodles
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@transparent I am eager to see the royalties start rolling in for my heat pump’s appearance fee! 😉 Toodles.

This post was modified 3 weeks ago by Toodles

Toodles, 76 years young and hoping to see 100 and make some ROI on my renewable energy investment!


   
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Mars
 Mars
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@toodles well noticed 🤣

Buy Bodge Buster – Homeowner Air Source Heat Pump Installation Guide: https://amzn.to/3NVndlU
From Zero to Heat Pump Hero: https://amzn.to/4bWkPFb

Follow our sustainability journey at My Home Farm: https://myhomefarm.co.uk


   
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Toodles
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@editor ‘Oi nowed me eat pump enyware Guv.’

Toodles, 76 years young and hoping to see 100 and make some ROI on my renewable energy investment!


   
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